SLIDER

As the Olympics draw near...

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

It's 9 days until the Olympic Games of 2012 begin in London. I'm sick at the thought that we could have attended if we were still in Germany right now. :(

I can't wait to watch our United States athletes compete for gold. As most might assume, my favorite sport to follow is surely Gymnastics. Each and every year these little ladies perform routines that we were not even imagining back in my day. I am never not amazed at their talents.

Awhile back a commercial came on our tv from P & G that thanked Olympic Moms for their dedication to building our next round of Olympic hopefuls. I was on the couch in tears. I mean the "UGLY CRY" tears. My husband was lost??? "What is wrong with you baby...?" I couldn't even answer him, I just pulled the video up on YouTube and pointed to the screen.

This commercial is so my mother and I. She was the one waking me up early for practice, prepping meals, cheering me on from the side lines, crying with me at the failures and screaming with me at the successes. I never did make it onto the Olympics, but my dreams of that accomplishment and those of my mother still haunt me to this day.

In our own little ways I don't think either of us ever got over the loss of that dream. And although we have not spoke but 3 times in well over 10 years now, she is always in my thoughts and prayers and a video such as this just touches my heart.

Those were the happy days between her and I...

Much Love




Because its more than a simple picture I'm being asking to take... I am honored~

Monday, July 9, 2012


On Thursday of last week I traveled North by 7 hours to Kentucky to be with my friends Tracy & John. Last Sunday their son Jackson passed away, and I was asked by the family to speak a few words at his funeral and to take private family images for them to hold tight.

I've never before been so humbled...

Here is what I wrote for Jackson.
_______________________________________________________



My husband Eric was not able to attend with me this weekend, but he shares with me much of what I speak of and sends along all his love and prayers.

The other evening, a dear friend and fellow Army wife wrote the emotional news that her precious son had gone to fly with angels. I was crushed beyond words...

Tracy, John and little man Jackson were our neighbors to the left while we were all stationed in Texas. Our husbands played ball with the dogs out front while us girls would sit on the stoop talking about anything and everything. When the day came that she shared with me the news that she was expecting I was overjoyed. A first born, and it was a son.

As my photography business grew, Tracy became my first ever Maternity Portrait Shoot, and Jackson was my first ever Newborn Portrait Shoot and I have since shared a bond through images that I will never be able to describe. I am honored.

Unexpected complications during delivery left Jackson one of Gods little warriors. And what an amazing warrior he was. And though Eric and I had since PCS'ed to Germany, I always enjoyed keeping up with all of Jacksons triumphs and accomplishments over these last 3 years.

And through all the trials and all the hurdles, I never once saw this amazing mother break. She studied Jacksons treatment plans and disabilities endlessly. She consistently educated herself on how to provide the very best for her son. She spent countless hours working with him, caring for him and loving him. She is the epitome of what I call Super Mom.

Tracy and John share the bonds of both love and loss. And where other marriages fail, theirs have not only survived but has shone as a living testament to what real love is all about. This is what Jackson takes with him. This is all Jackson knew of his short time with us was love, and in return he gave love. When he would smile, or giggle, or reach out to his new baby sister or big brothers, or the new friend at Morgans Wonderland. He gave us all so much love....

No one ever knows why God make the choices he makes? Why he takes home the ones we love so very much?

But me... I have my own little belief about Jackson, and his purpose and plans. I believe that Jackson was born to Tracy and John because God knew that no other family would love him or care for him deeper or stronger. And I believe that God brought sister Sarah along at just the perfect time. I think that all those hours Jackson and Sarah spent cooing and cuddling on their blankets were actually spent preparing Sarah for her new role. I think that Jackson waited until he was home, home in Kentucky where his mommy and daddy would put down roots. Where other family could be nearby. I think that Jackson felt comfortable in how he lived his life. How he strengthened the bonds of love in so many. And I think he just wanted to make sure that everything here on earth was placed "Just so", So when he took his last breaths he did it right here where he knew he would be safe... Forever.

Jackson, you are never far away.
I love you......

_______________________________________________



jfb2

jfb1

jfb3

jfb4

Now an angel in heaven. RIP baby Jackson...

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

When Eric and I arrived in Texas, it just felt like home. But there was just something about Texas for the both of us?

Its extremely difficult to feel like anywhere is truly "home", with moving from one city, one state, or one country to another, and it can get pretty depressing if you don't make the effort to get out and meet the people in your new neighborhood. So it wasn't long before we started taking walks and meeting those to our left...

Our home was nestled on the back end of a cul de sac, with nothing but green pastures on one side of us and 2 amazing neighbors to our other. Directly next to us were Dean and JoAnn. This couple were newly married and our age. We spent countless evenings on their front driveway sipping on Arbor Mist and consuming mounds of Joann's amazing guacamole dip. Directly next to Dean and JoAnn were Tracy and John. Another newly married Army couple that transplanted from Kentucky. The three of us girls became fast friends, sharing lunch dates, movie dates, holidays and so much more over the 3 years of living side by side.

Eric and I were the first to move away as we left for Europe. Tracy and John followed about 4 years later, followed by Dean being PCS'ed to California while JoAnn stayed behind for the year. Now, all 3 of us live outside of Texas, but we have all remained close friends.

When Tracy first came to me with the news that she was pregnant I was so happy for her! It was to be her first child and everything went beautifully. Her pregnancy went flawless with only minor bouts with morning sickness and almost no unhealthy weight gain. She looked amazing!!! And she became my first ever maternity portrait session. We used the new studio in the house and we captured some beautiful shots. Neither of us would have known that only days later Tracy and Johns life would be forever changed.

I walked into the dining room one night later in the week to see ambulance lights flashing out front of Tracy & Johns house. My heart sunk to my toes. Being a nurse my instincts were to run over to her and see if I could help, but I knew that whatever was going on she was in good hands and on her way to get further help. Days went by without even a single soul coming or going from their home and no word on how she and the baby were doing. By Friday we had received the news, and it wasn't pretty.

At some point on Friday evening Tracy's cord prolapsed and by the time the ambulance arrived they had no vital signs on the fetus. You should be able to feel the heartbeat and blood flow through the cord, and there was none. The ambulance drove straight to BAMC where they were immediately re-routed to the next hospital... which was over 17 minutes away. To this day I still will NEVER understand why BAMC sent that ambulance away knowing that it had a patient who had zero vitals?

By the time they arrived at Wilford Hall over 22 minutes had been spent pumping fluids and Oxygen into Tracy in hopes to save her child. Rushed into an emergency C-section, everything else was a blur. It was a whole 2 days later until Tracy would learn the fate of her son. Now, left dealing with a child with Cerebral Palsy, epilepsy, and a bucket full of other health issues. Until that fateful night her son was 100% healthy.

She asked me to capture some newborn images of little man Jackson, and it was a tough one. Not because of any health difficulties, but because all I could think about was how only weeks ago she was so happy, eagerly anticipating the arrival of her first born. Now... this. We both cried. We both hugged. We both were just so amazed at how quickly life can change.

Over these last 3 years I have watched Tracy become the SUPER MOM of children with disabilities. She read every article, book, health report she could on everything that pertained to little Jack. She worked with the Dr.'s on Jackson diet, helping him to get some relief from the daily seizures he suffers from. She developed a closet with moving lights and such to aid with Jackson's mobility. She hired a private nurse to assist and teach her all about Jackson's feeding tube and medications. She became Jackson's personal physician and she became very very good at it.

A year ago Tracy and John gave Jackson a baby sister named Sarah. When they brought Sarah home she said that the changes in Jackson were amazing! He would reach out to her, smile at her, make noises at her. They played together, laughed together and grew together. Sarah just celebrated her first birthday only weeks ago. How times flies! The family also moved back to their home town in Kentucky. Everything was wonderful and they were preparing for more summer activities with family and friends.... God had other plans.

July 1st, 2012. God decided that Jackson was needed more as an angel and brought him home. He passed away with his family at his side. This seizure being just too much for little man Jack to take. I read the news the next morning. I cried the rest of the afternoon.

No one ever knows why God does the things he does? Why he takes home the people that we love so very much? But me, I have my own opinion about this event. I think that God brought Sarah along just at the perfect time. I think that Jackson spent this last year talking to Sarah, preparing her for her role as the big sister. I think that Jackson waited until he was home. Home in Kentucky where his mommy and daddy would put down roots. Where other family could be nearby and be of support. I think that Jackson was tired, and he just wanted to make sure that everything here on earth was placed "just so" so when he took his last breath he did it right where he knew he would be safe forever.

Tomorrow morning I am making the 7 hour drive north to Kentucky. I am driving there to be with a dear friend who needs me right now. A dear friend who I can't wait to see. A dear friend who is stronger than I could ever be, but today, needs a shoulder and a hug.

RIP little man Jack. You are an amazing testament to love unconditional. You will be surely missed!!!


3

1

2

4

5

7

9

6

10

11