Until today you may have come to my blog & website to view my work, read my posts, or simply get to know me a little better? And if you read a posting a few months back about a beautiful woman who hired me for a boudoir photo shoot as a surprise for her husband, today that post has been erased, and it makes me very sad to even have to write that fact. Let me explain just why...
When I decided to offer boudoir it came after a lot of thoughts, opinions and decision making. Not because of how I felt about it, but because of what others say about it. I've heard statements like "Its too personal." Or, " Im not comfortable taking those types of images." but what are "those types"? Nudes? Risqué? Pornographic? And those exact statements I suppose is what pushed me even further into the need to offer this style portraits? There is a difference between "Artistic Nudes" and "Pornographic" style photography.
Now let's not get all emotional about this statement because to many people, pornography can also be looked at in an artistic manner. But that is not exactly the look I am going for when I speak with a woman, or even a couple, in regards to the session they are about to purchase.
Boudoir, to me, is about empowerment. It's about stepping outside your comfort zone and embarking upon a journey of the soul. It's about forgetting those photoshop images we all admire in the magazines and no longer comparing ourselves with those women. Or men for that matter. Those images are not real. They have been manipulated to within a fraction of who that person really is. They are there to sell a product, to evoke an emotion, stir a fantasy. But it's not reality.
Now, with that said... I am not claiming that they are not beautiful. Or that I don't, or have not, done the same thing to my own images if that's what the client requests. But it's not where my heart is. Where my heart is, is to give back to women. To get them out of their box, if only for an afternoon. To allow them to feel beautiful no matter what their body type. What their size might be, hair color might be, breast size/waist size might be. And to aid them in seeing themselves in a whole new light. To appreciate those things that they seem to gravitate towards... Like their stretch marks. Or their butt dimples. And I say this because those are the things that are beautiful! Those stretch marks came from a new life that you and the man you love created. Those dimples show that you've lived. Those breast, that might not be as perky as they once were, fed another human being. So be proud!
In fact... Stand on a mountain top and shout it out to the world!!!! You are beautiful, you are amazing, and you are fearless! Embrace you... ALL of you. Put it on canvas or in a book. And believe me when I tell you just how beautiful you really are.
The client that inspired me to write this is blessed. I mean physically blessed. Photographing here was pure joy and extremely easy. Her body, her face, her emotions were very easy to capture in pictures. And there have been nothing but positive and, at times, envious feedback on them. And at first, she was proud of them too. But somewhere, over these last few months, those feelings of pride and empowerment have been over shadowed by questioning, skepticism, and ultimately fear of posting them online. So I respected her wishes and removed them. All of them. From any public viewing site they had been posted on. And I think it's a shame. Not because they are my images, and personally I am extremely proud of them. But because I feel that somewhere along the line she slipped back into believing what society would have her believe... To be less than confident about herself, and her body.
I never would publish an image without the clients permission, which I was given initially. On that same note, I will never keep those images up if, for whatever reason, a client changes their mind about that decision in the future. Even if legally I have the right to keep them there. It just wouldn't be the right thing to do. And that's not what I am all about.
So if you are reading this my dear client, I want you to know that yes I was hurt. And maybe a little angry at your decision to have them removed... But not for the reasons you may think. I'm hurt because it's just another woman who has conformed to society and it's warped ways. It's another woman who has, for whatever reason, questioned herself and her body. It's another woman who has listened to the opinions of others over her heart, and her soul. And in some small way you just gave up some of your power....
Boudoir is about empowerment. It's about loving ones self. It's what I strive so desperately to give to each and every woman who is on the fence about this style of imagery. And a little part of me just died today knowing that society has taken that away from someone yet again. The decision to do a boudoir shoot is a private one, and there are many reasons why a woman chooses to do it. Just don't allow your decisions to be over shadowed by others labels. Stand up! Be strong! Love yourself! And let's make a change in what society believes is right or wrong. It's your body, your decisions, your right.
Boudoir.... Where loving yourself becomes reality!
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