Its extremely difficult to feel like anywhere is truly "home", with moving from one city, one state, or one country to another, and it can get pretty depressing if you don't make the effort to get out and meet the people in your new neighborhood. So it wasn't long before we started taking walks and meeting those to our left...
Our home was nestled on the back end of a cul de sac, with nothing but green pastures on one side of us and 2 amazing neighbors to our other. Directly next to us were Dean and JoAnn. This couple were newly married and our age. We spent countless evenings on their front driveway sipping on Arbor Mist and consuming mounds of Joann's amazing guacamole dip. Directly next to Dean and JoAnn were Tracy and John. Another newly married Army couple that transplanted from Kentucky. The three of us girls became fast friends, sharing lunch dates, movie dates, holidays and so much more over the 3 years of living side by side.
Eric and I were the first to move away as we left for Europe. Tracy and John followed about 4 years later, followed by Dean being PCS'ed to California while JoAnn stayed behind for the year. Now, all 3 of us live outside of Texas, but we have all remained close friends.
When Tracy first came to me with the news that she was pregnant I was so happy for her! It was to be her first child and everything went beautifully. Her pregnancy went flawless with only minor bouts with morning sickness and almost no unhealthy weight gain. She looked amazing!!! And she became my first ever maternity portrait session. We used the new studio in the house and we captured some beautiful shots. Neither of us would have known that only days later Tracy and Johns life would be forever changed.
I walked into the dining room one night later in the week to see ambulance lights flashing out front of Tracy & Johns house. My heart sunk to my toes. Being a nurse my instincts were to run over to her and see if I could help, but I knew that whatever was going on she was in good hands and on her way to get further help. Days went by without even a single soul coming or going from their home and no word on how she and the baby were doing. By Friday we had received the news, and it wasn't pretty.
At some point on Friday evening Tracy's cord prolapsed and by the time the ambulance arrived they had no vital signs on the fetus. You should be able to feel the heartbeat and blood flow through the cord, and there was none. The ambulance drove straight to BAMC where they were immediately re-routed to the next hospital... which was over 17 minutes away. To this day I still will NEVER understand why BAMC sent that ambulance away knowing that it had a patient who had zero vitals?
By the time they arrived at Wilford Hall over 22 minutes had been spent pumping fluids and Oxygen into Tracy in hopes to save her child. Rushed into an emergency C-section, everything else was a blur. It was a whole 2 days later until Tracy would learn the fate of her son. Now, left dealing with a child with Cerebral Palsy, epilepsy, and a bucket full of other health issues. Until that fateful night her son was 100% healthy.
She asked me to capture some newborn images of little man Jackson, and it was a tough one. Not because of any health difficulties, but because all I could think about was how only weeks ago she was so happy, eagerly anticipating the arrival of her first born. Now... this. We both cried. We both hugged. We both were just so amazed at how quickly life can change.
Over these last 3 years I have watched Tracy become the SUPER MOM of children with disabilities. She read every article, book, health report she could on everything that pertained to little Jack. She worked with the Dr.'s on Jackson diet, helping him to get some relief from the daily seizures he suffers from. She developed a closet with moving lights and such to aid with Jackson's mobility. She hired a private nurse to assist and teach her all about Jackson's feeding tube and medications. She became Jackson's personal physician and she became very very good at it.
A year ago Tracy and John gave Jackson a baby sister named Sarah. When they brought Sarah home she said that the changes in Jackson were amazing! He would reach out to her, smile at her, make noises at her. They played together, laughed together and grew together. Sarah just celebrated her first birthday only weeks ago. How times flies! The family also moved back to their home town in Kentucky. Everything was wonderful and they were preparing for more summer activities with family and friends.... God had other plans.
July 1st, 2012. God decided that Jackson was needed more as an angel and brought him home. He passed away with his family at his side. This seizure being just too much for little man Jack to take. I read the news the next morning. I cried the rest of the afternoon.
No one ever knows why God does the things he does? Why he takes home the people that we love so very much? But me, I have my own opinion about this event. I think that God brought Sarah along just at the perfect time. I think that Jackson spent this last year talking to Sarah, preparing her for her role as the big sister. I think that Jackson waited until he was home. Home in Kentucky where his mommy and daddy would put down roots. Where other family could be nearby and be of support. I think that Jackson was tired, and he just wanted to make sure that everything here on earth was placed "just so" so when he took his last breath he did it right where he knew he would be safe forever.
Tomorrow morning I am making the 7 hour drive north to Kentucky. I am driving there to be with a dear friend who needs me right now. A dear friend who I can't wait to see. A dear friend who is stronger than I could ever be, but today, needs a shoulder and a hug.
RIP little man Jack. You are an amazing testament to love unconditional. You will be surely missed!!!
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1 comment :
I have not been on blogger in a long time. I am just now seeing this. To be honest I didn't know what you said at the funeral. I was so out of it. It was nice to be able to read it. You are a wonderful person and friend. Thank you so much for coming to KY and thank you more for your friendship! Love you!
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